Hey Santa: Drop the Jolliness
Posted by Raven on November 30th, 2007
Santa needs to lose weight in order to be politically correct.
America’s top doc told the Herald yesterday that Santa Claus should slim down, in the latest blow struck in a global politically correct crusade against the jolly fat man.
“It is really important that the people who kids look up to as role models are in good shape, eating well and getting exercise. It is absolutely critical,” acting U.S. Surgeon General Rear Adm. Steven K. Galson said in an interview after a presentation on obesity at the Boston Children’s Museum.
And I wish these bumbling bureaucratic busybodies would just shut up and focus on the real causes of obesity: Lifestyle habits, a lack of physical activity (often promoted at the schools) and other things…Santa is not the problem. Modern society IS.
December 1st, 2007 at 12:50 am
I just someone on the radio read this version of The Night Before Christmas.
You most likely have heard or seen, but in case not, here it is (a soldier’s version, not at all PC).
TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS,
HE LIVED ALL ALONE,
IN A ONE BEDROOM HOUSE
MADE OF PLASTER AND STONE.
I HAD COME DOWN THE CHIMNEY
WITH PRESENTS TO GIVE,
AND TO SEE JUST WHO
IN THIS HOME DID LIVE.
I LOOKED ALL ABOUT,
A STRANGE SIGHT I DID SEE,
NO TINSEL, NO PRESENTS,
NOT EVEN A TREE.
NO STOCKING BY MANTLE,
JUST BOOTS FILLED WITH SAND,
AND ON THE WALL PICTURES
OF FAR DISTANT LANDS.
WITH MEDALS AND BADGES,
AWARDS OF ALL KINDS,
A SOBERING THOUGHT
CAME TO MY MIND.
FOR THIS HOUSE WAS DIFFERENT,
SO DARK AND SO DREARY,
THE HOME OF A SOLDIER,
NOW I COULD SEE CLEARLY.
THE SOLDIER LAY SLEEPING,
SILENT, ALONE,
CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR
IN THIS ONE BEDROOM HOME.
THE FACE WAS SO GENTLE,
THE ROOM IN SUCH DISORDER,
NOT HOW I PICTURED
A UNITED STATES SOLDIER.
WAS THIS THE HERO
OF WHOM I’D JUST READ?
CURLED UP ON A PONCHO,
THE FLOOR FOR A BED?
I REALIZED THE FAMILIES
THAT I SAW THIS NIGHT,
OWED THEIR LIVES TO THESE SOLDIERS
WHO WERE WILLING TO FIGHT.
SOON ROUND THE WORLD,
THE CHILDREN WOULD PLAY,
AND GROWNUPS WOULD CELEBRATE
A BRIGHT CHRISTMAS DAY.
THEY ALL ENJOYED FREEDOM
EACH MONTH OF THE YEAR,
BECAUSE OF THE SOLDIERS,
LIKE THE ONE LYING HERE.
I COULDN’T HELP WONDER
HOW MANY LAY ALONE,
ON A COLD CHRISTMAS EVE
IN A LAND FAR FROM HOME.
THE VERY THOUGHT BROUGHT
A TEAR TO MY EYE,
I DROPPED TO MY KNEES
AND STARTED TO CRY.
THE SOLDIER AWAKENED
AND I HEARD A ROUGH VOICE,
“SANTA DON’T CRY,
THIS LIFE IS MY CHOICE;
I FIGHT FOR FREEDOM,
I DON’T ASK FOR MORE,
MY LIFE IS MY GOD,
MY COUNTRY, MY CORPS.”
THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER
AND SOON DRIFTED TO SLEEP,
I COULDN’T CONTROL IT,
I CONTINUED TO WEEP.
I KEPT WATCH FOR HOURS,
SO SILENT AND STILL,
AND WE BOTH SHIVERED
FROM THE COLD EVENING’S CHILL.
I DIDN’T WANT TO LEAVE
ON THAT COLD, DARK, NIGHT,
THIS GUARDIAN OF HONOR
SO WILLING TO FIGHT.
THEN THE SOLDIER ROLLED OVER,
WITH A VOICE SOFT AND PURE,
WHISPERED, “CARRY ON SANTA,
IT’S CHRISTMAS DAY, ALL IS SECURE.”
ONE LOOK AT MY WATCH,
AND I KNEW HE WAS RIGHT.
“MERRY CHRISTMAS MY FRIEND,
AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.”
December 1st, 2007 at 1:19 am
Yep… and some Ivy-League looking ‘ME GENERATION’ feminazi was on Neil Cavuto (FOX, 4 PM) saying the same thing! “Santa’s image is a bad thing for … the children!” Cavuto sliced and diced her ass and long live JOLLY OLD ST. NICK! This dweeb even said that “Children should put out carrot sticks and celery for Santa when he comes down the chimney, and skim milk instead of cookies!”
Who ARE these FREAKS of society Raven? That’s right, the ones that have taken the CHRIST out of Christmas and the jerks that have banned Nativity Scenes from public areas!
December 1st, 2007 at 8:50 am
Santa is not a role model!
And he certainly is not the cause of obesity.
December 2nd, 2007 at 3:32 am
Missed a few Christmases due to missions during my USAF career… but it made the next Christmas that much more better, sweeter and more appreciated! Freedom isn’t free and Santa knows this better than anyone else. Santa makes it down the chimeys no matter how jolly and pudgy he is. His fat provides for insulation at Flight Level 20,000 feet! He loses weight AFTER his December 24th and 25th missions are completed…. Bug off secular losers and weight watching blow hards!
December 3rd, 2007 at 8:56 pm
Hey Terrence, thats excellent! Thanks for leaving that.
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:00 pm
fercryingoutloud…SANTA isn’t a real person! He’s not. He’s supposed to be jolly and happy and big…when I was little they always told me Santa gained his weight so he could stay warm on Christmas eve…and I didn’t even have a clue what “weight” really was. I never thought of Santa as FAT. Just a happy magic man who brought me lots of presents.
The PC/DIET police need to find another way to slither their ways into our lives…perhaps they should write books or something. They need to stop ruining everything for people.
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:02 pm
But AOW, according to these people, Santa is JUST another reason we have….so many…fat people, uh, kids. It has nothing to do with the non fact that kids don’t get enough exercise; that they’re parents feed them unhealthy crap; that they sit around and play video games and TEXT messaging each other all day…not to mention the many schools that don’t allow recess, PT is all class now and no physical activity…NO. It’s SANTA’s fault.