Just Raven

A few folks here may know through my various grapevines that I have not been content with my current job…There’s been a lot of crap happening. Lately it’s been much worse and I’ve gone out to seek employment elsewhere. In a nutshell, my work fired the woman who directed the nursing department, for good reasons. She used to be an excellent leader, but as happens with so many leaders, she turned into a typical BOSS, who left her heart under some desk somewhere. The people who are above her haven’t moved fast enough to clean up the MANY messes she made.

So I’ve been out looking around to see what’s on the market. I’ve been doing this work for 20 years now! I realized that when I was writing up a resume. Nursing jobs are easy to find. Mostly, the actual work is the same for aides no matter where we chose to be employed. In my state aides are licensed and not certified- which means we are charged with doing much more than aides in the other 49 states. In my state we do things LPN/LVN’s do in other states.

Some of us who do this for a living liken our work to being a grunt in the military. We’re in the front line. We take on the brunt of the physical labor; we deal with the effects of others’ poor decisions face/head on. We’re the backbone of the health care system. It’s often said, and I believe to be true, that a nursing unit could not operate without its aides. No nurses? No problem…no doctors- not a big deal. No aides? Shit hits the fan literally.

I’ve worked in nursing homes, a hospital, a hospice, an assisted living facility for people with dementia, a home health care agency and a rehab center. I’ve also been involved with several advocacy groups for CNA’s, and thru these groups I have testified before Congress. I’ve written articles for CNA Journals and periodicals.

Every place I’ve worked at has various policies and procedures which are inherently similar- this work doesn’t change much from facility to facility…what attracts people to these places are the pay and benefit packages. The only thing that really counts when it comes to finding a job, in this work, is experience and a license that isn’t tarnished. All the other things mean nothing and count towards little when it comes to securing a position.

My first thoughts of doing a job search led me to the Sunday papers…where I found hundreds of open positions within 35 miles of my house. There’s a shortage of nursing staff, that’s a fact. Most of the jobs were either with a staffing agency or nursing homes. Hospitals generally don’t place ads for these positions because they fill them through word of mouth.

The work I do is so known to those who carry the title, the job ads don’t even have to spell out duties, descriptions and other details…

Basically, the ads say:

Positions for per diem, full time, part time, all shifts. Experience required. Must be licensed in the state of NH.

That’s all.

One job stood out like a sore thumb. It was a position with a state agency, and it was quite different. I knew of this opening through my work a couple months back- it’s a new position that offers a qualified experienced aide the opportunity to not be an aide anymore. Yet, keep the title. The job entailed assisting an RN with tracking practice activities of nursing assistants throughout the state. To review curriculum being used in training; to sit on committees that hold oversight over our practice. The position not only promised to take the lucky person hired away from hands on care, it offered a yearly salary vs. an hourly wage. Of course working for the state means excellent benefits as well.

Many people encouraged me to apply for this special offering. They called it an opportunity; a way “out” of the grunt work. So I did exactly that: I went through the stupid and cumbersome application process for a job with the state. How dumb it is. BTW, to have such a process. One has to make certain grades in order to move along to the next step in the “process”- apparently I made several grades and landed an interview with the nurse who is in charge of this new program.

The interview went very well and I was pretty impressed with it all…it is indeed an excellent chance for an aide to get out of the front lines. The person who gets this position will have their own office, phone extension, desk, computer. The dress code doesn’t require scrubs. One can wear jewelery, and nail polish and make up if they wish. These were some of the perks of the job, I was told. The nitty gritties of this job? To help the nurse access state wide training programs; to attend meetings that deal with disciplinary actions; to add a voice for LNA’s in their own work. What, exactly, does this mean? Taking notes. Processing travel itineraries. Ordering copies of training manuals and visiting training programs while in progress.

I was offered the position on the spot. Papers were pushed at me, to sign. My varied hands on skill, experiences with computers and online nursing assistant activities qualified me beyond reproach, I was told. My references were impeccable. And above all, my loyalty to the profession was highly praised.

I glowed.

For about ten seconds.

My mind began spinning. No hands on care? No direct patient contact? No sitting with those who are waking up from a coma? No more manual cooling of those who have very high fever? No more shift report? No more lifting, pulling, tugging, pushing? No more setting up feed pumps or fixing the screw ups of others with the pumps? No more ROM, draining hemo pumps or showing the nurses how to operate IVs? No more trach suctioning, cannula changing and collar replacing? No more blood draws, catheterizing and central line cleaning? No more assisting patients to take their first steps after a deadly auto accident? Or watching a person go from tube feeds to pureed to chopped to regular diets…each step met with choking episodes that usually require some form of CPR. Hearing the first words out of mouths that were once blocked with thick blue tubes…and helping the patients remember who they are?

Hmm…all these skills I’ve learned- not being used? The thought of sitting at a desk, all day, really gave me a headache. I’m not a person who can do that- nor am I one to attend meetings. I literally fall asleep. I get bored listening to others yack on and on even when the subject matter is very important. I’d have to dress, for someone else’s idea of success. (Scrubs make life simple and easy.) I really get bored with, and have NO patience for others who have a high opinion of themselves- even when they deserve it.

These types of places are full of over inflated egos and I just can’t stand that and, my mouth and habit of rolling my eyes would get me fired very fast I’m proud to admit afraid. Office politics don’t mix with me…and everyone knows these offices in state buildings are full of that.

I declined the coveted position. In less than a minute I thought of all the reasons why I wouldn’t be content in that role. And why I would miss doing the very work I had chosen to do many years ago. Sometimes one has to reach outward to learn to appreciate what they already have, inward.

All my friends and others have scolded me for turning away the non-opportunity of a lifetime. Pfft. I may complain and moan and groan about it. We work short all the time. The days are brutal and long. Hands and feet get sore, as do backs…the pay sucks…but I now see it’s my destiny to stay right where I am- maybe not at the facility I currently am employed at…but the role can’t change. I belong in the front lines, where the grunts are.