I can be a bitch sometimes
Posted by Raven on April 22nd, 2008
Every now and again I have to take stock of where I’m wasting my time and take steps to fix that. It’s not easy but I’m always a better person after.
So I open my door to my enemies
And I ask could we wipe the slate clean
But they tell me to please go fuck myself
You know you just can’t win
In the past week I’ve ended or walked away from, or given up on several relationships/friendships…all my choice and on my terms.
Work Ethics and Trust: It can’t be bought
One was a co worker relationship…a newer aide who befriended me and who, as time has shown, wanted only one thing: A quick push up the ladder of credibility at work. Doesn’t go that way with me; you earn my trust over time and through above and beyond work ethics. This ended with a battle of nasty words and raven clawed determination.
Judgment and Competitiveness: No thanks
The other is not work or personal life related, but was certainly annoying me to a point where I decided to get away from it. Judgment and oneupmanship prevailed in this situation, and I ain’t into that bulloney. I’ve silently wandered away from this unhealthy relationship and it feels good to not be a part of that immature crap anymore.
There are a couple others too, that I wish not to write of here. It’s strange how these things can all come out at once and how, when pushed, we can take action across the board. It all needed to happen. Of course it all had to happen within a few days too but hey…I think there’s purpose behind that.
It’s not easy to be the bitch sometimes. But I have to be that way when I’ve been stomped on one time too many. I have a lot of patience. I have a big heart. I have much empathy and sympathy. But when people tread on me over and over again, I turn into a nasty, mean bitch who never forgives. And I move on without looking back.
April 22nd, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Its unfortunate that sometimes you have to push those people away who you thought were friends. I wouldn’t necessarily believe you’re a bitch for not allowing others to take advantage or abuse you, in fact I believe you’d not be showing yourself the respect you deserve.
That being said.. I’ll try not to piss you off all the same
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:49 am
There’s a C&W song now “…Find out who your friends are!” Look into your mirror and trust THAT person Raven. Frau Vader and I and our family are very very very … selectful in reference to WHO are supposed FRIENDS really ARE! This isn’t going to be the first time for you nor sadly will it be the last…
April 23rd, 2008 at 1:59 am
PS: CRANK up ‘The Bitch Is Back’ by Elton John Raven! One heck of a kick ass jam, especially for us old folks…Elton was awesome in Cologne West Germany in 1981.
His politics sucks however!
April 23rd, 2008 at 7:58 am
It’s not all bad…I do have a new person of interest in my life who is being very good to me.
I’m spending much of my free time with him even though that is rare right now. Work is taking much of me. He visits me there often and we’re moving forward in a positive direction. So I’m very content. And perhaps this is one reason I have chosen to push off some of the soul bleeding folks who don’t give anything to me in terms of friendship and value.
April 23rd, 2008 at 8:01 am
I do respect myself…when you don’t do that no one else will.
darth, I haven’t listened to that song in EONS. I mean YEARS. LOL, I don’t know if I even own a copy of it…the bitch is always present, she just stays under a rock until she’s pissed off enough to come out and say ENOUGH.
Which is exactly what’s happened in the past few days. One by one I’ve booted out the people who are nothing but grief to me.
April 26th, 2008 at 12:24 am
Raven… I just hooked up my 1980 Kenwood Stereo receiver, speakers (4) and turntable in our basement … IT STILL WORKS! Purchased in Bitburg West Germany (Air Base) and we have 300 records that need to be spun… Yes we have Pink Floyd too and now we can play ping pong and relive some great old tunes. The Krauts love AC/DC and PF - big time!
April 26th, 2008 at 12:29 am
PS: I met my FRAU of 25 years in West Germany and after a few months had passed, we knew that we were going to be man and wife and a father / mother…. We weren’t rushed nor stressed at all.
April 27th, 2008 at 6:29 am
darth I bet we have a lot of music likes then…I love PF of course, but ACDC and the heavy metal bands as well. Been to many a concert of metal.
I had a Kenwood stereo before I bought my Bose systems. The KW lasted for many many years and was reliable. The X has it now. I still have the Bose which I continue to add components to as I can. I don’t have a turntable with it though- BUT I can buy a brand new one made by Bose if I wish.
The system has 8 speakers too- which thread though my house (which is pretty small) plus two boom speakers that can go outdoors (these are freakin HUGE!!! Like massive suitcases!!)
April 28th, 2008 at 12:55 am
My Kenwood Super 11 deal was THE TIHS
back in our old German flat and I miss the Akai Reel To Reel I had for my roomate and I had swapped records at SPang Air Base and we recorder over 600 record albums and old .45’s and … ? These reels were all lost in a flood in our basement and I nearly cried when we had discovered the flood (sump pump stopped working)… The tunes we recorded were CLASSICS and the get together parties we had were… Delta House Togaistic!!! My Kenwood speakers still blast and so do my other two Jensens. I’m in an ELO mood after work: “DON’T BRING ME DOWN…NO NO NOOOO!”
April 29th, 2008 at 9:06 pm
I still have some 45’s from when I was a little kid. Geez they’re all boxed up so I’d have to go dig them out to see exactly what I have- I don’t remember the bands. I do know I have a couple BeeGees. LOL