Just another list of things to check off
Posted by Raven on December 18th, 2006
If you’re thinking about getting married, the NYT has an article of questions you should ask before considering…
Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:
1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
12) What does my family do that annoys you?
13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
15) Do each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
…my thought is that a couple should KNOW these things, through being together long enough- and not through some stupid Q & A session. Just another LIST of expectations that often put a damper on things. What might be true now could be false later on.
People change. Being in a relationship changes everything as well. And marriage certainly changes just about everything. It’s all bullshit.
December 19th, 2006 at 4:36 am
My own relationship solution:
1. Is there any possibility of us meeting offline?
If so, no form of sexual or romantic relationship available - it just brings on too many complications!
December 19th, 2006 at 11:17 am
So I guess, “Shut up, woman, I’M the man here, and I’ll make the decisions.” just doesn’t work any more, huh? Well, don’t worry, it will soon as the Democrats keep electing Muslims.
December 19th, 2006 at 11:06 pm
SR— I think this article of phoney advice was intended to be read by those who already know each other…which is my point…if a couple is at the stage of discussing marriage (GAWD help them) they should already know the answers to these questions.
December 19th, 2006 at 11:08 pm
Poor Ogre…times have changed indeed. There are some of us who don’t DO Q & A sessions. Feh hell no.
You’re thought about Muslims though, is scary.
December 20th, 2006 at 9:36 am
It should be easy to get a divorce and very difficult to get a marriage license.
I’d institute a one year waiting period for marriage licenses in order to eliminate a few problems:
Britney’s Las Vegas type marriages,
“Ooops, I’m pregnant” type marriages,
Shotgun weddings, etc.
I’d also institute mandatory criminal, employment, financial, and health background checks. Too many people get married for almost any reason except the belief that they’ve truly found a good life partner.