Just Raven

There are some things we should never skimp on…money wise, time wise.

I don’t often write of such things because everyone does their own thing for their own reasons. Regardless, something happened at work that drives home the need to remind myself and others:
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF!!

Taking care of oneself means different things to different people. For some, it’s about being happy, content and comfortable. For others it means physically being well. I think we should aim for both, and the physical part must be high on our life in order to complete the whole picture.

The father of one of my patients died last week, an untimely death. My patient is a 16 year old boy who fell off a set of rocks on a mountain out west- he fell 400 feet and smashed his head. He lived. But not to tell about it. He’s got a severe brain injury that has rendered him unable to talk, walk, eat, go to the bathroom…he’s not in a vegetative state but may as well be.

His accident occurred two years ago. He came to my facility 4 weeks post trauma and was in a coma. His parents moved into his room with him. His Dad took this very hard- being his only son, my patient meant everything to his father. Who never left his side for a year. Who took hands on care of his son; who watched him wake up and who placed high hope upon a total recovery. It never happened, but my patient made many improvements.

All through this time, Dad became more and more obsessed with his son’s progress and regress…we celebrated and cried together. He became a fixture on the unit. We worried about Dad though, he never took any time for himself. His wife was there 24/7 as well, but she would go home to tend to the other kids in the family every weekend.

Last December, Dad finally left for a week to take care of his own health. He had dental appts and an appt. for a flu shot. At that visit, the nurse noted he hadn’t had a physical in over 5 years. No shot would be given until a physical was performed, he was told. And as luck so had it, his doctor had time that very day for this.

A mass was found in his prostate. Further testing showed it was malignant; and had spread to his bladder, kidneys, pancreas, liver and now was invading his lungs. Just 2 years ago, Dad had noted (to himself) problems he was having urinating. That passed, so he assumed all was well. It was the only symptom he ever had. Incurable and inoperable, the cancer was quickly spreading- to his spine and then brain. So typical the route of invasion once cancer hits the liver…usually death occurs within months.

Within weeks of the DX, the pain and deliberating effects of the cancer began taking their toll.

Dad went blind very fast; he lost his ability to eat (and the weight loss was incredible); his voice eroded away; a coughing spell would last hours and wipe him out. His doctors did radiation therapy to shrink the tumors but they grew faster than the treatment could handle. At that time, palliative care was the only option. And he left his son’s side a week ago, for the last time. He went home, where he died Saturday in semi peace.A year ago he weighed 210 lbs; at his death his weight was 126lbs. He was young: 44.

A friend of mine just lost her father to cancer as well.

For two years he complained of his R leg hurting. Only when was using it- walking, moving it in any way. It was a dull light pain so he didn’t think it was anything. It didn’t hurt when he was sitting or sleeping or driving.

Last week he went for a long overdue physical. He mentioned the pain to his doctor, who did a manual exam of the leg and suspected something more than a muscle problem. An MRI confirmed the docs’ initial thoughts: Bone cancer. And the MRI showed the cancer was in every bone of his body. And it had spread- again, as often happens, to the bladder, kidneys, and the death sentencing liver. He died three days after the DX. In some ways he was very lucky to go so damn fast. He avoided all the pain and misery that cancer brings. A couple years of leg ache was all he endured. But he leaves a wife and four grown children…he was 52.

It all goes back to the simple things: See your doctor on a regular basis. Get your physicals. When you notice something isn’t right, make an appt for a check up. Little things can often mean big things are happening inside you. Cancers are usually quite silent until it’s almost too late. Thankfully we have the knowledge, tools and treatments to keep the odds of survival very high- when cancers are found early.

Men in particular are often the ones who die young because they simply won’t see their doctor. I’ve heard many of them complain about certain aspects of the physicals they don’t like. Yeah? Do you like life? Stop being stupid! The things you don’t like aren’t done to annoy you. They serve a major purpose in helping doctors assess your health.

Women get confused as to how often they should have physicals and mammograms and other tests. Go with what your doc recommends- but make sure you’re being honest with any symptoms you’re having. And you’re family history has a lot to do with tests schedules.

Anytime these things happen, see the doctor:
Blood coming out of any orifice where and when it shouldn’t be
A cough that lasts more than 2 weeks (even if you’ve got a cold)
Pain in legs or arms, wrists and knees, that only comes when you’re moving
A feeling of fullness in the lower abdomen- a heavy feeling
Any lumps- anywhere
Any bumps or bruises that don’t go away
Skin rashes and lesions that itch, bleed, change color
A change in your voice
Changes in appetite
Changes in bowel AND urinating habits
Pain in any section of the abdomen that is dull, barely noticeable but is almost always present

Take care of yourself. No matter what’s happening in life, take the hour or so required to see the doc once a year or more often or less often…keep a log if you’re noting pain or discomfort and DON’T LET IT GO.

Do your monthly exams ladies.

DON’T WAIT. DON’T PUT IT OFF.

When we wait, things could be happening that seal our fate beyond our control.

You’re no damn good if you’re dead.
Remember that.