Just Raven

It’s 5am and I’m down in Gloucester MA. Sitting on a little strip of sand with my laptop- using a wireless connection that fades off and on. I love the early mornings -this is my favorite time of day. And I’m always awake and ready to GO. Just right now, there is NOTHING going on. NOTHING. In my hometown I would be at the gym at this unGAWDly hour. In this town, not even a 24 hour shop is to be found.

I was at a bar last night and want to share some thoughts about that experience. Sometimes I do really DUMB things. My friends always warn me NOT to do the very things I did last night. Do I listen to them? Most the time YEAH…but not this time.
Live and learn.

At the bar I met this guy. I should say, he met me. I guess I was the object of his eye for a little while before he blazingly came over and introduced himself with an offer to buy me a drink. I decided it wouldn’t hurt anything, right? Besides I have been way too much of a recluse since my miscarriage and needed to get out and meet people. STOP being a SNOB I said to myself. I should have known to trust my inner instincts though. There was SOMETHING about him that I just didn’t…trust. I cannot put my finger on it. But it was there and I kick myself for not listening to SHE who lingers deep inside me- who guides me and has never let me down. My inner conscience.

For fun here, I’ll call him Adonis.

We always seem to notice the physical things about another person before anything else. It makes sense too, because the other things are not obvious. Mr. Adonis was a very good looking man- tanned and well dressed and well odored (I hate cologne!!). He wore fancy clothes and adorned himself with gay-man jewelry- a ring (not of the wedding variety), expensive gold watch and (gag me) a necklace (those are for women, not MEN!!) I am totally turned off by men who drape themselves with jewelry. Period. I saw a RED FLAG and chose to ignore it.

Maybe it was his smile that got to me. The brightest smile I have seen in a long time. Perfect teeth and a wide grin. If I had to guess, I would say he was in his mid thirties- just a hint of gray hair along the well trimmed sideburns. Eyes that sparkled a deep blue too…in other words- Gods gift to women (hence his nickname here). Why on earth he would single me out among all the women at this place is above me. There were slutty 20 yr olds here. There were just plain sluts here. There were groups of career type women at this place - drinking together in some celebration. All dressed for their own self perceived success….many women who knew how to attract men and who used these bars for just that purpose. Unlike me, who was there just for some food and drink and music to pass some time off. The lonely imp who sat in a corner most the night, listening to Pink Floyd and ignoring my surroundings. Dressed in my old and faded and torn blue jeans and a beat up t shirt with hair I hadn’t combed since the wee hours of the day- not exactly what I would call the least bit sexy…why would he choose me? I think it was because I was alone.

I learned through conversation that Mr. Adonis was from Chicago and was in the area on business. He’s a salesman and his client was located over in Manchester-By-The-Sea. I asked him HOW he managed to leave that upscale area of Cape Ann and end up in Rockport/Gloucester? He didn’t have an answer- except for a line about how “fate must have known YOU were going to be here”.
Charming. He told me stories of far off lands where he has traveled, the different clients he has on his caseload and about his upbringing in a small Illinois town. I heard all about his high class world and Yale education…and I did ask him why waste such an education by choosing to be a salesman as a career? (Another RED FLAG.)

Mr. Adonis bought me several drinks and he tried to “upgrade” my choice of drink as well (apparently a Sam Adams beer isn’t good enough for some…) I declined the exotic crap (and didn’t want to give him an opportunity to drop something into a drink…) and told my new “friend” that I was a simple person. The conversations continued for another hour- talking about everything from my kids to my work to his brothers and an X wife…then onto our favorite foods and hobbies and pets and peeves. It was refreshing to have such fun banter with another person who seemed to ask so little of me. Then he did it…He tried to hold my hand- and the touch wasn’t innocent. No biggie in itself, but when you’ve only known someone for an hour or two? A bit much.

We were distracted by a table of locals- a rough and tumble game of cards was being played by some men and they were making a lot of noise. I laughed when their table got pushed over and I laughed even more when one of the guys sort of tripped over himself and fell…they were drunk and they were having FUN. I enjoy watching people have a good time. Mr. Adonis seemed utterly disgusted with these men. He made comments about their ragged, unkempt appearance and choice of clothes. (Hey wait a minute…they were wearing jeans and t shirts like…me…) I reminded Adonis that this is a fishermen town and these men were most likely some of the hardest workers in the world…they were indeed fishermen. (Anyone who knows a fisherman knows ALL fishermen). Mr. Adonis snipped back to me that fishermen may be the hardest workers in the world, but they were also the most “odiferous” (this coming from HE who splashes himself with odors de jour)…and “probably not the brightest” people to know. After all he said, “Just look at them. They have the manners of a baboon!” I looked at them and laughed some more. The baboons were hilarious and Mr. Adonis was beginning to bore me.

I began to feel a little uncomfortable at this time. I’m not sure why- I just know something wasn’t right with this scene. Adonis had insulted the very people I choose to call friends…Kim’s hubby is a fishermen.

It doesn’t take too much to piss me off I guess. Don’t mess with me. And don’t mess with people like me.

All the fancy drinks and snubbed up rhetoric suddenly took on a new meaning. The scented suit and tie Adonis had on nauseated me. And then it became clear: This guy was a character not worthy of my time and attention. Yes, he entertained me for a couple hours with fun talks and livid descriptions of places I want to travel to some day. Funny how he would wait to hear from me- about these lands and foreign countries…and oddly he had been everywhere I wanted to go… He was engaging and lively but only on his terms- it occurred to me whenever I spoke of HIS work and hobbies he would quickly change the topic. I realized within seconds that 90% of what he had told me in the past couple hours were probably tall tales designed to sucker people like me right IN. I bet he was a jobless wart who was just out looking to get laid and you know what- I was the wrong target for this.

Sensing that trouble might happen if I stayed around, I decided to bail and BAIL FAST.
I told Mr. Adonis that it was time for me to move along; the evening was over and TADA. I got up and went over to pay my bill.
I walked out the door and headed over to my rig…when I felt an arm touch my arm. I knew who it was and I turned to Mr. Adonis and told him to back down and get his grubby mitts off of me. One of the “drunken” fishermen exited the bar and walked over to us, asking me if there was any trouble? He stood between me and Adonis, with his pool stick under one arm and a beer in the other… He looked at Adonis and stared him down…until he left, which was about ten seconds later. Heh. He never paid HIS BILL.

The fisherman and I lit up a cigarette as we watched Mr. Adonis leave- and we saw him use his cell phone to call a cab. We waited a few minutes and a cabbie pulled up and took him away. The ragged unkempt fisherman asked me if I would please hang out here until their game was over, at which time one of them would walk me to my vehicle and make sure of my safety. Or my other choice was to be escorted over to my rig now…but they would prefer my company first. So it was. I watched the pool games and had a couple more beers and laughed and joked around and just had FUN. The real kind of fun, with people like me.
The guys and their ladies were true people and had no motives for my company other than to JUST HAVE FUN.

It amazes me- the stereotypes of people of certain “classes” are placed in…The better off, well to do lot are safer to be around, right? The less fortunate, less well-to-do are the ones to watch out for. The low lives commit the crimes and the heroes all come from a higher world. Not always so. We all do stupid things like I did last night. I know better than to go to one of these pubs without friends…and I ignored my own warnings I felt shortly after Mr. Adonis came along. I will never ever again disregard those inners pleadings from the other person who lives inside me, that’s for sure. On the other hand though, I have made some new friends in Gloucester and I invited them all up to my place for a cookout one evening next week.